Tesimony

Before I actually started having a relationship with God, I was only concerned with myself. I was fully absorbed in playing soccer. From 5th grade to 9th grade my family and I only went to church on Easter and Christmas. I hung out with the so called popular kids who were only concerned with what other people thought of them, so therefore, I only cared about what people thought of me. I cussed to fit in with the group. My actions never went beyond breaking the rules. My parents instilled me with enough when I was younger to respect rules and do what was right most of the time. On a flip of a coin I decided which high school to go to. I ended up meeting my friend Kim and having conversations about church. She invited me to go to church, which was the beginning of my transformation. Being naturally shy, I spent most of the time observing other Christians and how they acted and started mocking it, almost as a way to fit in. I would say I accepted Christ when I was 9 years old at the church camp my grandpa helped create. The bible studies leading up to that day were Christ centered and really explained what the Gospel was proclaiming. I was able to talk to my Grandma and pray with her as I accepted Christ. The look on her face is still a vivid memory. As I sat at the table in the dinning hall, with my hands in my head crying, I could tell she was praising God for revealing himself to me in a way where I would understand the sacrifice he made.
During the summer after my freshman year I got the opportunity to go to Alaska on a mission trip. I experienced something that I had never experienced before. I started reading my bible and praying every day. God somehow spoke to me on this trip urging me to start having a relationship with him and changing how I act to become more Christ-like. For the first time since I was 9 years old I was filled with the Holy Spirit and had a desire to grow and seek him. For a while before I started having a relationship with God I felt alone and struggled with just being me.
Being a Christian is not as easy as everyone makes it out to be. God is constantly refining us, as Malachi 3:3 says. There is always room for improvement. Right now I stand before you still struggling to totally rely on God, mostly because of my stubbornness, but also because of my lack of faith. I know God is in control, but I rarely give him complete and utter control. When I do, everything works out amazingly and more perfect then I could ever have. Thankfully God continues to have patience with me and pulls me out of the pit of despair. I am constantly reminded from the people around me how amazing God truly is.