I long for you.

I haven't posted in a really long time and I think it affects my outlook on life and my ability to vent. So here's a brief synopsis of the last couple of weeks.

Saturday March 31- Jere Wayne Ivy (my cousin) died in a car accident...killing the other drive and putting the other driver's wife in the hospital. My family decided to drive out there for the funeral, and I saw my uncle for the first time that I can remember. I saw my cousin's baby Alec who is soo adorable and such a good baby, 7th months old and without a daddy. In the process I missed about a week of school and was really behind.

For whatever reason I feel like death follows me around waiting for the most opportune time to take another one of my family members. A couple of weeks before that the church I went to was having a funeral for one of it's family's son. That same day another lady came in and was weepy and explained that her son had died right before Christmas and that she had no use for the photo paper and wanted to return it. I had a feeling God was preparing me for something. I talked about it with a few people and now I think they agree with me.

Roomie broke up with her boyfriend last night and has been crying a lot. I'm really lost as to how to support her and what she needs. It breaks my heart to see her that way. I think that is why I push away any and all guys whom I think have an interest in me, kinda like my neighbor. Not that dating my neighbor would have been a good idea, but still is a great example. I'm lonely with you roomie.

Four weeks until the end of the semester. Then I'm home for May, June, July, and August. I'm trying to find a job. I applied to be a coach for kids 4-14. How fun would that be. Plus I'd get to be out in the sun and I'm hoping that it pays decently and that maybe I can work at Office Depot part time too. I know God will provide like he did last year with the support raising. It is going to be difficult to live with my parents again for 4 months. I won't be paying rent and I won't have to pay for a lot of my food so I should save a lot of money.

Prayer requests for anyone who reads: finding a job, finishing out the semester, figuring out my heart.
thanks god bless